CZ

I'm fixing a Casio CZ I traded to a friend for violin lessons. I clearly made out on this deal as it just wouldn't turn on right before a gig. I opened it up and traced the power lines back out to this transistor. The Casio CZ was a weird digital phase distortion synth that came at a time when FM synth was the top of the line, sampling was too expensive and analog synths were not avaunt guard or 'phat'. The sounds are all kind of gritty and unique. What I am loving on the inside of this machine is the circuit board is one layer and has discrete components hand soldered on (with about as much skill as I attack kits with) and actual labels for most components.  Our sad little transistor is anonymous, simply know as T3. Luckily the backside was exploded and I can still read the front of it.

Lauren E. Simonutti (1968 - 2012)

I met Lauren E. Simonutti when Ego Likeness went out for a photo shoot for the Water to the Dead album. We walked over to her house from Angel Fall Studios (now home to Charm City Cakes of Ace of Cakes). Hidden in a little Baltimore row home was an amazing installation of art. Walls covered in news print and pages from books, cracked plaster and remnants of wallpaper lovingly stenciled with vines, mirrors and pictures arranged obsessively in small corners. It was like a movie set piece from a great art director. Lauren was one of the last of the film photographers and had a 4 minute exposure on a large plate antique camera. She playfully made fun of me for ruining a shot because I keep reading the brand name of the lens over and over again making my eyes spiral and blurry. Later on as the rest of the band faded away I had a solo shoot with her. I have an outtake shot of me against a brick wall. It's an over done band trope but she suggested it and she had a brilliant way with composition that we trusted her instinct to make something of it. This is the shot I choose because Steve told me to, and because I was more engaging with the puppet than I was with the camera. The other shot lives on the fireplace mantle.
Lauren was diagnosed with "rapid cycling, mixed state bipolar with schizoaffective disorder" about that time. There were very obvious episodes in the past but this time it manifested suddenly with hearing voices while listing to a new recording. She was honest, upfront and very funny about this and I remember her joking about lithium springs and batteries as a source for what was keeping her grounded at the moment.
She had episodes, as everyone does, but at greater amplitude. I left the band, and moved out of the neighborhood. Every so often I would drive by her house and wonder if she was still there. I found an answer this week and I think the 500 Photographers blog said in a most simple and correct way: "Lauren E. Simonutti, 1968, USA, passed away last week due to complications from her illness."
This is incredibly sad, but not unexpected. It was plain to see that this might happen the same way a weak heart might stop or a cancer might have spread. It was the result of being overtaken, not of giving in.
This is on the heals of someone else I knew loosing the same battle. I didn't even know that she was anything but amazing and full of life. I was shocked and surprised, and then kind of mad, angry that I would never get to know her and that so many of my friends were deeply hurting. The same sort of un-resolved feelings are still present for a death much closer to me of one of my campers who I greatly admired and seemed to follow in my footsteps. When it happened I briefly went to the memorial, which I left fairly quickly instead of letting it all out with friends. I numbed my self that night and went to work hurting the next day to finish a project. After mentioning missing the burial for what was scheduled to be a long and crappy day of work my coworker none the wiser said "sometimes someone isn't meant for this world". I thanked him for the intent of his comment instead of decking him.
Lauren did leave me with a gift through what as far as I know was her last project. I have a better understanding of others mental illness and forgiveness. Lauren Simonutti , Tasha Kniep, and Walter Carpenter, I can see the peace that you sought and I feel sad once again, but with an acceptance or at least an understanding that has been missing.
Here is a link to the 500photographers tribute to Lauren Simonutti. It is a honest and straight look in to who she was at that time.
Please everyone, take care of your self physically, spiritually (what ever that means to you), emotionally and mentally. There is always someone who loves you and there will be happiness, trust me on this.

Hells yeh

I played the most amazing helicon the other day. Don Godwin was kind enough to let me pick up his helicon for a few minutes after Raya Brass Band's set at Fifth Dimension. I could hit each note straight on and have it just hang in the air like a soap bubble. My helicon is more of a collaborative effort between me and the horn trying to find which octave I'm playing in and sort of sliding into something close to the note I want to hit. I was close to gather all the mediocre instruments I own and getting a down payment on just one good tuba.

Having a good horn would help some, but it won't make me a good player. To be a good player I need to keep exploring and learning about music. I still don't reliably know the bass parts to a lot of the songs BBO plays, I often just go with my euphonium and play the melody because it is easy. I need to start looking at the songs musically and figure out what I can play that will support or best expand the song to what the band needs. I need to put the time in both playing and sitting down with a pencil and the charts marking it up.

For now, I'm trying to find a better matched mouthpiece for my horn. I'm playing the only mouthpiece in the shop that had a stem that fits and the cup is too shallow and too big around I think.

Blah blah blah

Hi Blog! 

I'm directing a scene in the water ballet again. We are still in development so trying to talk about it is like holding a tigers tail. At home my latest proclamation about the change in direction was met with hostile indifference. My creative process has lots of me just making announcements about my ideas with out warning or context. On the list of eye rolling subjects are brass instruments, and pretty much anything involving my day job. But that is what a blog is for right? 

Take that radio star!

Heh, I forgot to mention that I was in a music video for Bosley's song Neon Magazine. It was an amazing well choreographed professional shoot with cameras on tracks, lights, and all. The cast was an A list of volunteers. What Weekly as always had the scoop on the story. 

http://whatweekly.com/2011/08/25/bosleys-neon-magazine/

(WW also has the best article about Fluid Movement I have read to date also. They are a meta reason I believe in the Baltimore Renaissance that they are documenting)

Last night I was in another fun music video shoot for Frenchy and the Punk. This was a fun loose shoot but with good production values. I can't wait to see it late October. 

If you are on instagram look me up. I'm trying to take a picture a day. I like to think I see something interesting every day or something that can be dressed up with filters and blurring to make it interesting. Sometimes I dislike the filters because they are fake nostalgia adding false meaning other times I like how they sharpen colors or hide blemishes or let you draw attention in the pictures. I haven't been able to make food look good though. Maybe it is because I'm not sure how to convey taste in visual form but mostly it makes food look discolored and off it's prime, textureless or completely unidentifiable.

temporary apahasia you can eat

Also related to one of the previous posts. Sauerkraut! I am not only prepared to say it on mic I am whipping up a batch.

This year I'm sitting out of the Baltimore Beauty Pageant while I really work on figuring out what to be on stage that is bigger and better. I did the best I could being my self last year and that didn't win so I am stepping it up, next year when I hopefully can figure out a solo stage friendly talent. 

Now sauerkraut is on  the tip of my tongue almost literally instead of buried in temporary aphasia. At the farmers market I got a cabbage. The basic recipe for sauerkraut is to take a cabbage, cut it up, cut up other vegetables and fruit like apples if you want, season with what ever you want and then put a little bit in a jar, salt it, press, put a little bit in a jar, add salt and keep going. Then you let it sit out and wait for days. It will keep getting better and better and then worse and worse. The recipe for kimchee is just about the same but with more herbs, spices, chilly sauce and fish sauce. Both recipes say to go crazy with what ever you want to throw in or substitute. I added a little bit of old bay which works with the fish sauce extra sea foodie. 

I'm at day 2 and the waiting is tough. The kimchee is already very kimchee tasting. It needs to sit more to get that fizzy soft kimcheeness. Sauerkraut has a longer fermentation period and is just kind of salty cabbage and friends at this point. 

Anyone local want some of the sauerkraut? I am going to have a lot of it this batch. I'll keep you posted on it as we go.

Welcome Back!

Is this the way of blogs? Long absences and sudden re-interest and then more silence? I made two new notes on Facebook yesterday and remembered that I like paragraphs. Today I found ifttt and started linking my online life together.

In the style of confessions: Forgive me for I have not documented my life, it has been a while sense my last post. I:

Had another amazing year co-directing the water ballet. I learned a lot about how I do things and what I need to be bigger and more. Again I was really lucky to have a lot of talent in my co-director and in the scene and I hope I did what I could to not squander it.

Helped set a world record ukulele sing along while dressed up as a bush.

Rocked the socks and garters off of the Steam Punk World Fair with Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band. This was an odd refrain as my old band Ego Likeness was also playing there.

Oh, and the usual played many fun shows with Barrage Band, hung out with fabulous bellydancers and fairies, and broke/fixed/made/installed stuff in strange but local locations with my dayjob.

So tell me how many Hail Marries I have to do and lets get on with this thing.

Coming up next: Honk! Barrage Band didn't work our way into the schedule so this is a purely social call.